he who has eyes...

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” [Proverbs 27:17]

It used to be, back when I was younger, that I’d take opportunities to become a better person. I’d ask people for their honest opinions of me, what they liked about me and what they found annoying about me, and I’d make steps to become more likable. I know that maybe that sounds as if I’m caring a bit too much what other people think of me, but really I was just aiming for self-improvement — not for their sake, but for my own.

When I became a follower of Jesus, it really was one of these moments. I had just come out of a serious relationship (this is when life-change happens for me, by the way — after the demise of significant parts of me), and I was talking to a good friend of mine on AOL (remember that!?). She had suggested that I read some passage in Scripture because I was struggling so much. I did, and I just decided at that moment that Christianity would become one of those things that became part of who I was in the goal of self-improvement.

Somewhere along the way, and after another relationship failure, it moved from a system of beliefs and actions (i.e. a religion) into a relationship with Jesus — the kind with give and take, back and forth dialog, and a sense of following where the Spirit was leading me, be it leaving a job, moving to a specific place, or whatever.

In so doing, my means of self-improvement moved from a system of others’ opinions driving my emotional, physical, and behavioral transformation into a system of God’s opinions driving this change.

This all sounds well and good, nay, ideal — if, of course, it is implemented correctly. The problem is that it is so very easy to fall into the trap of “Well, this is just how God made me. And since His opinion of me is so much more important to me that the opinions of my friends and colleagues, how dare they question anything about me? If they really cared about me, they’d accept me for who God made me to be.”

Does this sound familiar to you?

Before going on, I do want to say that in this system of improvement, it is quite possible to make many positive steps towards becoming more of the person God would have you be. If we are constantly striving to become more Christ-like simply by drawing close to God and God alone, then obviously we are going to become more godly individuals if we strive in the right ways.

The problem with this, at least for me, is that you can tend to ignore the opinions of others because of the aforementioned “this is how God made me” trap. And when you do so, I believe you leave out a huge chunk of where God might speak to you to help transform you into a more Christ-like example.

This all calls to mind my favorite church-as-community passage in the Bible:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching. [Hebrews 10:23-25]

Although this is my go-to passage in Scripture more often than any other one, I tend to ignore what it says. I tend to not allow people so deep into my behavioral patterns as to allow them to spur me on towards love and good deeds.

I mean, seriously, think about what this is saying. It’s not saying, “Encourage one another on toward love and good deeds.” Nor does it say, “Nudge one another on toward love and good deeds.” It doesn’t even say say, “Push one another along toward love and good deeds.”

It says, “Spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” As in, “Spur a horse so that he runs.” As in, “Ram a sharp object into the hind-quarters of a horse so he experiences a shock of pain and runs from it.”

When was the last time that you allowed another person to speak honestly enough to you that it provided you with a sharp pain causing you to run from your current state of being into a more godly place? Do you have those people in your life that you allow to do that? Because, in my opinion this is what the author of Hebrews is saying our community should look like. Yes, we should provide encouragement and should help people along in their journey by aiding them to behave more godly. But, we shouldn’t shy away from spurring them to do so.

There is a typically Christian-ese method of explaining different kinds of sin. We have sins of commission and sins of omission. Sins of commission is what we generally think of as sin — doing things that are wrong. Like your usual idea of murder or adultery or greed. Sins of omission are the more common pitfall — not doing things that you know are right. When you see someone being oppressed and yet you turn the other way knowing full well what you should do, that’s a sin of omission.

Now, this is only an analogy (probably), but this idea of self-improvement has made me think of sins of commission and sins of omission lately. Having an opportunity available to you to improve yourself and become a more godly person, and yet choosing not to pursue this opportunity is like a sin of omission. When you live in a community that is open and honest and desires your good, and you choose not to seek their opinions for your life and allow them to spur you along — you’re omitting serious facets of God’s ability to help develop your character. Sure, you’re not actively seeking to become a worse person, but you’re not seeking to become a better person when there is an opportunity right in front of you.

I’ve been challenged by this lately. I want to be a part of a community that’s always seeking to spur one another on towards love and good deeds. I want to be a part of a community that’s humble enough to hear what others have to say and to see where God is speaking through them. And, I think that any community that is less than this is not a fully-realized community at all. I don’t want my church to ever become a community that’s not fully-realized.

To this end, I’ve began opening myself up to others’ opinions of me. I want to be spurred on towards love and good deeds. I’d love it if you’d open yourself up to that possibility from those around you as well. I think it’d really be beneficial.